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AUTHOR'S NOTE: This was written a long time ago, and my writing style has evolved drastically since then. Please do not take this as an actual taste of my writing. If you want to see my latest writing, find my Wattpad on my profile and read it there (fair warning: it contains mature content, which is why it's not on this wiki).
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If you want to kill a man, and make a heated scene,
Invest in a handy rope and coat it (well!) with kerosene.
Next, tie him up, firmly to a straight, cold metal pole,
And wear a smile on your face as you pull a match to light the coal.
Bring the flame to the frayed end and leave a little space,
So that you can watch him stare at his fiery demise in the face.
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If you want to kill a man, and make it within reach,
Potassium chloride is found in laundry bleach.
Let it heat for awhile, and when the crystals start to form
You’ll have your own murder solution, home-made and still warm.
Load exactly five milligrams into a medical syringe,
And inject it above the elbow, so it leaves no reddish tinge.
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If you want to kill a man and cause quite a bit of a splash,
The neighborhood pool always has a water stash.
Send him into the room and bolt it tight and tense,
Then pour the water through the seams of the vents.
Oxygen? No need, he’ll have to compromise.
And there’ll be no need for you to hear his dying cries.
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But if you want to kill a man with the worst method of torture,
Worm your way into his heart, slowly into his personal border
And when his every passing thought involves only you
And your scent on his hands is a daily cue,
Suddenly distance yourself, out of the blue.
And he’ll be wondering, what did he ever do?
Maybe even cry once, but if you do,
Halt at exactly one minute and thirty-two,
Just enough so that your cheeks and eyes are tinted with the pretty blush of red.
He’ll become a madman for you, and he’ll split his head.
Don’t bother to give him a reason, this will extend the pain.
And then leave him, so heartbroken, he’ll kill himself to your gain.