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it's been so long
since you've been gone
since you lied
and ive tried so hard to forget
to forget you and what you did
painting light over the evident darkness
bringing out the sun
to show us it was alright
though it never was.
trying to forget
when you left us
shattered and scared
screaming your name.
trying to forget
your beautiful lies
the lies that shined
false promises to all.
and though youre gone,
youre still there
in the darkest pockets
of my mind.
why why why why
why are you still there?
why do i still have to despair
over the things you did
and the things you made me want to do?
how did i ever think i would forgive you?
i cant believe i ever defended you
i cant believe i didnt see past the light
into the darkness that you really were
i still feel horrible about that,
i really do
sometimes i just cant handle it.
i regret so much of what i did those days
and i wish i could blame you
but i cant
its my fault for not seeing
its my fault for not listening
to the others caught in the eye of the hurricane.
am i bad person
if i want to forget?
i want to forget
i want to forget
i want to forget
im scared and torn and shattered
i want to forget
i want to forget
how can i ever forget?
how can i ever forget you?
how can i ever forget what you did
to me and my friends?
how can i ever forget
that you made me want to go
into the darkness and never come back?
how can i forget
how can i forget
how can i forget?
you hurt me so much
your shattered glass cut me all the way through
you hurt me so much
i took the shattered glass for myself
and tried to cut all the way through
just to forget you.
im still scared that i somehow hurt you.
you hurt me
and i somehow think i might've hurt you
it seems insane,
but the thought is still there,
just another monster creeping in the darkness
i wish to forget.
im still scared that one day
everything will fall down again
somehow you will come back,
at least in another form,
somehow
im scared ill be hurt again
im scared others will be hurt again
it's hard to trust anyone
if i know their light could very well be darkness
in the end.
and you did this.
you did all of this
and so much more.
i cant ever forgive you
and i cant forget either.
no matter how much i want to forget
my pain
i
cant
forget.