User blog:Toastedkorekiyo/gross man is sad//VENT

OKAY SO A LOTS BEEN HAPPENING LATELY so ill make sum chunky bois

SUMMER SCHOOL
so after almost failing school because of my mental health, i had really bad grades. and i worked my butt off, like i stay ed up every night to work even when i wasn t feeling well. my school district is so uncooperative and refused to do home hospital so guess who has to do summer school now ? ME!!!!

and i hate seeing other people. like i run away from them,, thats how bad they make me feel. they'll just hurt you and manipulate you. anyway im surrounded by a ton of idiots in summer school and guess who sits alone? me. because no one wants to sit at my heckin table. like,, sorry that i dont wear tube tops or mini skirts, BUT LIKE,, CAN'T Y'ALL AT LEAST? TRY NOT IGNORING ME?

anyway i fell asleep in class and everyone was laughing at me and now i have a reputation for that. so cool,, teenagers suck and can. suck a lolipop.

my normal friends
all my friends are being way different than they used to be and i get that change isnt a big issue  for most people but it really upsets me bc of past issues that change caused. and like they keep on ignoring me or acting cold and im like ok??? like i get its partially my fault because i rarely hangout with them but like, i dont ever feel like it since i just start worrying and have to leave after an hour of paliptations and like when im back alone i feel safe again?

and i became friends again with an extremly abusive friend of mine who i hadnt contacted in like three months and im like: NOOO

because i know im going to start feeling terrible soon and i feel like an idiot for doing it but i cant stop now and im rly mad at myself

OKAY

ME :D
WOW OKAY,,

I HATE MYSELF

i hate how gross i look, i hate my cold blank eyes, i hate my disgusting voice, i hate my terrible personality

i have an awful personality,, like talk about being obnoxious and clingy.

i will probably die alone without any friends. because all my friends leave after a year because they start to hate me. which is understanable

i hate that i cannot go to parties because the last time i went to one was over a year ago and i was really scared there. and thats the only party i've ever been to.

i hate every single thing about me because i am untalented and ye.

you know,, its really disgusting. because the thing i hate most is myself but unfortuantly i seem to be imprisoned in this pitful existance of mine. like the one thing i want to escape the most is myself along with my past but i'll never be able to.

god i wish i had like blond hair and blue eyes or somethin and like, wore normal kid clothes and listened to rap or something and like actually had friends who didnt hate me. because atm im a mess

ANYWAY,, THABNK YOU FOR LISTENIGN TO HOW DISGUSTING I AM :3\

BUT ITS OKAY!! because im getting cosplay stuff today so thats something super epic :P