Thread:CrescendoFlow/@comment-39024013-20190724082627

I liked the story very much. It was an interesting way to write the character fainting, and I enjoyed the twist at the end. My only critic is that you fix the sentence: 'All you remember is a little red bike that was mud splattered and had a rusty basket.' Because 'Mud splattered' doesn't really sound like a grammatically correct phrase...at least to me. A better sentance would be: 'All you remember is a little red bike that was splattered with mud and had a rusty basket.' But you don't have to change it if it makes sense to you! Good job on your first story! 