User blog:Hajimeme Hinatoes/Oof.

Vent stuff?! What am I, edgy? Yes, I am very edgy.

1
So, in fourth grade, I had this friend named Emma. We were those kinds of friends who joked around in class, but never hung out. But when we got in fifth grade, we hung out more and more, until we realized we shared a lot of common interests, one of them being anime.

We talked about it a lot, and soon, a girl named Mia approached us. She was quite shy,  and never really walked up to someone. She muttered something along the lines of "you're funny" and such. Now, you see, I was the class clown of my class, and I always made dark jokes. Obviously, I wouldn't actually murder them, so they laughed about it, and that made me sorta,, popular? idk.

Soon, Mia became our friend, and we became a trio. Mia soon became interested in anime, to the point where we literally roleplayed it when we got the chance to.

But that's when everything changed.

Now, you see, I was sort of a douchebag. I at least called my friends stupid a couple of times and such, but they never took it literally. My jokes sorta had gotten old, and my other classmates took it seriously and actually assumed I wanted to kill them, to the point where they called me a demon, or that they assumed I like demonic stuff. Like,, dude,, it still hurt.

But when my friends started acting like a douchebag like I had done to them, even though I had kinda stopped it, that hurt. If you didn't know, I'm quite sensitive, so sometimes I can be on the verge of tears. And sometimes, I'd cry when I got home. The questions in my mind whirled around. Had I hurt them that bad? Was I really that stupid? Did I even deserve friends?

No, who was I?

When I did embarrassing stuff at school, whether it be spilling food on me, they'd laugh hysterically. I'd laugh awkwardly along, but deep inside, I felt like screaming at them, while sobbing. One time, I'd embarrassed myself bad, and they nearly told all of my other friends. And at that point, I was done. I had a breakdown in gym, after a day that it had happened. When one of my other friends told Emma and Mia, there was no reaction out of them.

They didn't care. They didn't care about how I felt.

Now, when school starts again, I'm going to have to see them. I'm afraid of attending school again, because I have no way to avoid them. They're all I have. They're the only people who've been there for me. But sometimes, it feels like I'm choking.

whelp, I hope you enjoyed. yes, im edgy okay-