Dakota's Taekwondo Class

I wrote this a long time ago and recently unearthed it.

Y'all ready?

© 2019 Samurai, all rights reserved.

Chapter One: An Interesting Kihap
Dakota: Wonder what we're doing in class today. -walks toward the school- -enters-

Assistant Instructor: -bows- Hello.

Dakota: -returns bow- Hello, sir!

Sabomnim: AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY HOW ARE YA

Sabomnim: READY FOR CLASS

Dakota: YES SIR

Sabomnim: GOOD TO HEAR ALL RIGHT LET'S GO

(They are in the dojang.)

Dakota: Uhhh. . . sir, am I the only student here?

Sabomnim: Looks like it. Class is always fun when you're the only student there. Not difficult at all. Totally. Not.

-silence-

-Sabomnim looks at Dakota with a wicked smile-

Dakota: Oh no. On second thought, I think I'll take class next-

Sabomnim: Don't worry, Dakota. We'll start off nice and easy.

Dakota: Oh, thank you sir-

Sabomnim: TWO HUNDRED PUSH-UPS

Dakota: NOOO

Sabomnim: What was that? Two hundred isn't good enough? All right, then. THREE HUNDRED IT IS.

Dakota:. ..

Sabomnim: After that it only gets easier and more fun! NOW DO YOUR EXERCISES, SON

Alexey: Sir-

Sabomnim: HELLO, ALEXEY! WHY DON'T YOU JUMP IN TOO, BUDDY?

Alexey: What

Sabomnim: DO YOUR EXERCISES, BOTH OF YOU BOYS. I WANT TO SEE SOME BLACK BELT ATTITUDE HERE, AND I AIN'T SEEING IT

Alexey: Sir-

Sabomnim: KIHAP ON EVERY TENTH PUSH-UP

Alexey: -reaches ten push-ups- DEATH

Sabomnim: NO SON KIHAP KIHAP

Alexey: -reaches twentieth push-up- MISERY

Sabomnim: KIHAP -yells loudly- *KIHAP* LIKE THAT, SON

Alexey: -reaches thirtieth push-up- BLARGH

Sabomnim:. . . that wasn't a kihap.

Alexey: It was a blargh. BLARGH. BLARGH I SAY

Sabomnim: I didn't ask for a blargh. I asked for a kihap, son!

Alexey: -reaches fortieth push-up- KIHAP

Sabomnim: YES, THAT'S IT! KEEP IT UP! :D

Dakota: -finally reaches tenth push-up- -an exhausted, faint "BLARGH" is heard-

Sabomnim: -facepalm-

Dakota:. . . blargh.