User blog:JaguarMantisMoon/Second Blog Post

Ok, second blog post. Warning: Rant ahead

I’m going to a new school and let me just say, it is h u g e.

Like, i just went to orientation and it’s three floors of pure madness.

The only thing I know is where the science classrooms are. That’s it.

I’m really hoping I get into theater. I love acting, and even though I’m an introvert when I meet people and you cannot get me to go ask a Walmart employee anything, all of my anxieties go away on stage. It’s like the opposite of basically everyone I know.

Also, this school is like super high-tech fancy. They have those things that you walkthrough at the airport at all the doors that lead outside, and you have to show your ID that they give you to get in. Crazy.

Also three minute passing periods.

Three minutes.

And apparently the teachers are ruthless, if you don’t have both feet in the doorway, they lock you out. And cause I’m kinda clumsy, I'm terrified of dropping my stuff and being locked out. Also, the teachers don’t know if you’re new or not, so you have to tell them so that they let you in when you’re late. So, being late on the first week of school will not be tolerated.

I know this probably isn’t crazy to anyone that reads this, but I come from a small school. Like, 6 of my old school could fit in this school (Well, the main building anyway, not the gym and cafeteria, which is a separate building). My old school was so close knit, that you knew everybody. Doesn’t mean you knew their name, but you could recognize them. You know all the teachers even if you have never had a class with them, all the teachers knew all of the 200~ students by name. Heck, you even knew about 3/4 of them. Our school also only had one floor.

Did I mention that I’m also in a different state? So, by going to this new school in a new state, I won’t have any friends to visit on the weekends. And once I do manage to make friends, it’s bye-bye in like 9 months to go off to somewhere else!

Also, I’m really hoping I do not get band. No interest in taking an instrument whatsoever. On top of just regular homework, I’m doing homework for three or four hours! And also I’m saving money and don’t want to have to buy an instrument, or take one on the bus which will be a really long ride, by the way. Yes, I do know learning an instrument would help with my studies, but I think I’m good knowing how to play hot cross buns on the piano and being a master at the colored bells

I do hope that they remember to put me in the correct math! Because it would be horrible to have to take math that I already know, because I’d psych myself out about having to do good and end up failing miserably. Heh...

Anyway, this is my rant that I need to get out. I’m melting from stress, but other than that I think I’m doing ok. The people at church here are really nice and very unique with completely different cultures and they’re all from everywhere and I think that’s really cool. I’m in kind of a reading slump lately though, which is horrible because Im in the middle of like three books, and I really want to finish them before the next two books that I’m waiting for come out. Luckily, I can read like a chapter every few days, but it’s just hard. Usually this happens during the summer, and once school starts I usually can bring myself to read again. And then there’s writing. I want to write and I have so many ideas swirling in my head but I try to write them down but I just can’t! And that makes me sad because first of all, I’ve got some top-notch fan fictions writing themselves up there, and also because I’m in a writing contest on here, and I have a super good idea but putting it on paper is hard. And I see it in fragments too - I know what’s going to happen and what happened between the fragments, but I just can’t seem to write anything other than what I can clearly see in my head. And then there’s parts that seem kind of glitchy, like on a tv where a certain part is just static. It moves along with the show, but you still don’t know what’s there. And that’s super hard, because i really like this story, even if my representation of it is not as good as I’d like it to be. I want to be able to write a story like I did on a school camping trip that was about the murders in an insane asylum for kids. That one was so good. I would share it, but I don’t want to type it up + the sketchbook it’s in is in a box somewhere and I don’t want to have to dig through several of them to find it.

And then there’s art. I really want to draw, but my art right now sucks. And it’s not the case where I’m just thinking that, it’s actually worse than before. I’m not joking. If I showed you a side by side photo of the art I did today and the BeetleJuice fanart I did a month or so ago, the BeetleJuice one is WAY better. The BeetleJuice one is probably one of the best pieces I’ve done, ever. And my one of Niko from OneShot, that ones really good. But now, I try and it’s just... bleh.

Sorry about how long this is. Have a great day/ Night/ Time in limbo

This is Jaguar, Signing off