To Be Anyone Else

'''So, this is a Keeper of the Lost Cities fanfiction, from Keefe’s point of view. I’m not sure how many KOTLC fans there are here, but I thought I’d include it anyway.'''

Chapter One: Me
My name is Keefe Sencen. It'd probably have been more realistic if I was named Mistake, though. I can't even laugh at that joke, because it only brings me down further.

Why'd I do it? Why did I join the Neverseen? Why didn't I listen to Sophie? I've broken her trust, everyone's trust, the caches were fake, I handed over Aluvettere, and I'm just as horrible as good ol' Dad said I was.

Anyone but me. I wish that. Anyone. Everyone else is fine. Look at Fitz, getting my Sophie, the girl of my dreams.

I sigh as I pace my bedroom. Sooner or later my mind would break with the guilt. I didn't care. Maybe I should just go kill myself now.

Sophie might've been able to lift my spirits, but every time I see her now, my spirits just get lower. Because I have no chance with her now. Beautiful, sweet, Sophie. Dating Fitz.

She never loved me. Still doesn't. Why did I have to manifest as an Empath? Now all I see is her love for Fitz, and her mere friendship towards me. We could've been more, but I never told her. It would've been a let down any way.

A knock on my door startles me, and I look up to see Dad. He's definitely not helping my problems. Neither is the remainder I'm the son of a Neverseen member. I was meant to be someone else, someone evil.

But I'm not.

"What do you want?" I say harshly.

"Sophie invited you over to Everglen. She's downstairs." Dad replied, just as coolly.

"Tell her I'm busy." I sighed. Dad raised his eyebrow.

"Doesn't look like it."

"I am. Go away. I'm not in the mood for you or her right now." Especially since Fitz would be at Everglen, and I couldn't handle them making dreamy eyes at eachother the entire time.

Dad gave me one of his oily smiles.

"Fine. Stay in here for the rest of your life, I don't care." He said, leaving.

"Well that's exactly what I'd like to do, now go!" I yelled after him, slamming the door behind him.

Then I went back into my pit of agony, which was soon interrupted again.

"Keefe?" It was Sophie. I wished I could yell at her, tell her to go away, the same I'd done with my dad, but I couldn't. All energy had worn away from me. There was nothing left to get angry, to make jokes, to be sad. I was just worn, and I didn't like it.

"I'm fine. You didn't have to come up here." I replied, facing away from her. I could feel emotions of worry and despair radiating off of her. It only fed my own emotions.

"But I did. Keefe, you can't keep doing this to yourself. Why don't you want to do anything anymore? Even your hair is dead." She said, reaching up to poke my limp hair, unstyled.

"I don't feel like it." I replied.

"Because you won't do it. You've forgotten what it's like to have fun. Besides, we need your help defeating the Neverseen." She said.

"I'm useless. I've already messed everything up, why should I again?" Sophie's worry radiated off in waves and waves, overwhelming me.

"But you didn't! Keefe! We're back on track. It isn't your fault. Look, Keefe, we need you! Why don't we go to Everglen? Fitz, Biana, and Dex are already there, we can play base quest!" Sophie started to pull me off the bed. I'd do anything to make her happy. And she certainly wasn't now.

"Fiiinnne..." I drawled out. "But I need to fix my hair."

Sophie's face broke into a smile, and now waves of happiness came off her. They filled me up, and for a moment I could believe it was me who was happy.

But as I trudged off, Sophie pulling me, gloominess settled back, pushing me into the hole of depression I'd forged for myself.

Chapter Two: Memories
As we were swept away by the pathfinder, I made a wish.

To have everyone forget about me, to have me not even exist. Then I never would have made those mistakes. Then I wouldn't be holding everyone back, then I wouldn't be causing unnecessary stress and worry. Then I never would've felt any of this stress.

We got to Everglen, and a cheerful Biana and Fitz greeted us. Dex was busy fiddling with a gadget, and he held it up when Sophie and I walked in.

"Hey, Sophie, Keefe! Look, this is the Wiper. It can wipe away anyone's memories, and can then replace them. Smart, huh?" He said. I smiled thinly.

"Yeah." I went to the back of the room while they all talked. Sophie looked at me worriedly, but didn't say anything. As I sat there, a plan formed in my mind... a good one. After all, I was the creator of the Great Gulon Incident. Ah, that was a masterpiece... for a moment, my mind drifted to happy thoughts of it until I was snapped back into my sadness. I listened to the rest of them talk.

"Ooh, we should have a sleepover! We can invite Tam and Linh..." Biana squealed. The rest of them nodded, and began to plan. Wait... Tam? Sleepover? This did not sound good.

A few months ago I would be scheming pranks to play on everyone, trying to get Sophie to notice me, and intoning about how my bed head hair would be better then everyone else's, but now I sat in silence, guilt and envy washing over me. My eyes trailed to the Wiper, my biggest hope. Maybe the sleepover could even help me... so I agreed to the sleepover, which made Sophie grin excitedly, probably thinking I was happy now. Ha.

At last, we had suffered through several party games and Biana makeovers, some talk about the Neverseen, and a trip back to Candleshade to get my pajamas, everyone settled down and whispered for a few minutes before they drifted off to sleep.

Now was my chance.

I reached over toward the table where Dex had placed the Wiper, and grabbed it. I stared at it silently, turning it over in my hands, and crept over to where Linh lay. At that moment, a hand grabbed me in the darkness. I whipped around. It was Tam, half engulfed in shadows.

"What do you think you're doing?" He shadow whispered to me. I glared at him.

"What I do is my business, Bangs Boy," I hissed silently back at him.

"Don't touch Linh. I see that wiper in your hand... why are you so weird all of a sudden?"

"I'm not being weird. I'm taking away..." My voice trailed off as I pondered telling Tam what I planned to do. We didn't like eachother anyway. He wouldn't stop me, would he?

"I know exactly what's running through your mind right now. Stop. It's just not worth it." His eerie shadow voice whispered over me. My heart raced. Did he? I simply stared at him in the dark as my response.

"They need you, Keefe. I never would've admitted that before, but this is worse then suicide. Don't do it." Something in his eyes... Tam understood, he'd been through this. He hadn't done it for one reason.

His eyes flickered over to Linh the same moment mine flickered to Sophie. But I had to do this. Sophie could survive without me.

"You can't stop me." I murmured to Tam harshly.

"But I can." The shadows suddenly overwhelmed, and suddenly I was in pitch black darkness. Completely blind.

"You've been practicing." I muttered.

"Of course I was, while you were moping like an idiot all this time. You could be better then this. You refuse to move on." He said. I wondered if he was talking about my crush on Sophie. Had it been that obvious?

Slowly a plan formed in my mind as to how to get out of this.

"Fine, Bangs Boy. I won't do it." I sighed. The shadows faded a little.

"I'm watching you. Don't back off that promise." He replied threateningly. I nodded, and the shadows left. Immeadiately I jumped on Tam, pressing the Wiper to his forehead. Dex had explained earlier how to use it, so I carefully pressed a button, and suddenly I had access to Tam's memories. I fought the urge to explore them, knowing I had to get this done as fast as possible, and quickly erased all the ones with me in them. Dex had made it super easy to use.

After Tam, I went to Linh, Biana, Dex, Fitz, and finally, I found myself standing in front of Sophie.

You have to do this, I told myself. My heart beat violently. I couldn't. But I had too.

So I pressed it firmly against her mind, and entered Sophie's memories. I saw them all, of her living, the genius, with humans. I saw teasing, I saw meeting Fitz, her- ugh- kissing Fitz, and finally I saw her first meeting me. My heart broke as I saw her, oblivious little Sophie, as I noticed her hurst hand, flirted a little with her, I saw her, so young, so vulnerable.

I clicked the button to delete it, and went on to the rest of memories of me. I fought back tears as I wiped my life away, literally.

And then, I grabbed my things, took the Wiper, and silently left the house after wiping away Della and Alden's memories.

Chapter Three: Love
I slipped out into the dark night, wondering where to go. I really hadn't thought this through, so I simply went back to Candleshade to wipe away my dad's memories.

After sifting through all his memories of me, most of them bad reminders of what I loser I was, I shakily went to my room and dropped down, exhausted, onto my bed. Restless sleep and nightmares overtook me immediately.

When I awoke the next morning, I sighed and started pacing my bedroom. What to do now? Kill myself, maybe. What was there left to live for? But then, at that moment, my bedroom door opened. There in all her beauty was Sophie.

I furrowed my bore in confusion. She shouldn't have remembered me, but from the emotions of confusion and worry coming off her, she clearly did!

"Keefe! What have you done?" She asked frantically. "No one remembers your but me! And," she said accusingly, "the Wiper is missing." I sighed.

"You shouldn't remember me," I replied helplessly.

"But I do. Dex programmed the Wiper not to wipe my memories, but to make it look like it did. He was going to do that for each of us, but didn't have time."

Drat, I thought to myself.

"Sophie. Just... I'm not worth it. Go away, please?" I said. She merely glared me down.

"Keefe, you did this because you thought you made mistakes. But this was your biggest. I don't understand... why are you so depressed? Your mind's going break soon enough, Keefe." Sophie sat down on the edge of my bed.

"I want it too." I said simply.

"Keefe. Look... you are worth it. More then anyone. And, Keefe..." she looked at me, big, beautiful brown eyes filling with tears. I wanted to hold her, to make her happy. To make her a queen. She deserved that. I didn't.

And then, some impulse over came me and I kissed her. Even though she had a boyfriend, even though I didn't deserve that, even though I was supposed to be wiped from her mind.

And miraculously, she kissed me back. It was a short kiss, but a passionate one. And something... wonderful was coming from her emotions that radiated off her more fiercely then ever.

Love.

"I... I thought you and Fitz were a thing," I said. A smile crept treacherously across my face, the first real one in weeks.

"Well... he wouldn't believe you were real. I mean, I get it. His mind was wiped. But he refused to believe me. Biana and Tam were skeptical, and Dex and Linh were all in. But Fitz refused to believe. He was nice about it, but I couldn't keep loving him if we didn't have trust that flowed willingly. And... Keefe, I love you."

Just like that, I managed to climb out of my hole of depression, and filled it with happiness. There, sitting on my bed with Sophie, I was finally at peace.

Except for one thing. What had happened to my hair? I raced to a mirror, Sophie laughing as I tried to fix it.

Yep, everything was right in the world.

'''Well, that's the end! Hope it wasn't too cliche and boring. Please critique, because it's definately not my best work and I'd like to know if it's believable. '''