Talk:Silver and Gold/@comment-35137341-20190109215109

Feedback time from the judge (and fren :D):

First off, great suspense. Lots of authors struggle with the concept of foreshadowing comfortably, without jolting your reader and making it awkward. You did it flawlessly without any discomfort whatsoever. Props. But the only thing I can see is that they are little ones, and therefore should have grammar mistakes. You did great on 'my mommy and daddy says', but if Eternity messed that up, the logic is that she messes more things. I understand that there is not a lot that neither Frigid nor Eternity have said in this chapter (because it's the beginning one, understandable :) but maybe just emphasize their age a little more.

You should be proud of this, that error is me nitpicking, and if I was not supposed to critique this closely, I would not have corrected you on this. Everything else is pristine, and I wish you luck.