Hurting

Contains depressing stuff about my life experiences. Don’t read if you find that kind of content triggering or disturbing.

I hear your screams

Directed at me

The pain you send

Into my body

I don’t understand your anger

You can’t control your temper

What did I do wrong?

I hear my lies

Feel tears in my eyes

But you act like you haven’t

done a thing

I act like it’s fine

I’ll silently cry

Are you finally pleased with me?

I’m not okay

No matter what I say

To cover up my

vulnerability

What must I do

To try and make it through

And be perfect

For you, not for me

“I’m okay,”

“Yeah, I’m okay,”

But I’m hurting

I’m hurting

Inside

You’ll never understand

How much your words weigh

And every time

One more beating I take

You’ll cry,

Say “I’m sorry,

I’m such a bad person,”

Force me to forgive and pity

Let you know you did nothing wrong

Because it’s who I am

You say you’ll never do it again

I say “I believe you, it’s okay,”

You act like you never kicked me down

Like the words you scream in my ear have no weight

I’m hurting

You don’t know how much

And no one will ever understand

I’m hurting

I will never be enough

I think to myself over and over again

I can’t let it all out

I must be perfect

Cover up all my scars

Bottle it up

You have to be perfect

Shut down your hurting heart

You’re a shame, you’ll bring shame

If you tell about your pain

I hear your words echo in my head

Why can’t you see

How much I’m hurting?

Can’t show it

I wish I was dead

To prove it to you

That I