Scar of a Serpent: A HP AU

What if Harry made the choice to be a Slytherin? What if he had sat next to Draco that day? This is what this fic covers. It's a humorous AU. Enjoy.

Chapter one: Yeeting Down the Door
Harry and the Dursleys were in a boat. A moldy and gross one, mind you. Like Voldy. Harry found it rather difficult to sleep, with the intense storms out at sea. Dudley was snoring rather quite loudly, when...

...”YEET!” a voice boomed. The voice had a rather odd accent, too. It was very shortly followed by the sound of the door being busted. “As I always say, a healthy dose o’ daily memes helps yeh keep yeh spirits high.” The giant-sized man walked to where Harry and Dudley had bolted upright in shock. Dudley ran to Aunt Petunia, hidden from view just barely, with how chubby he was. “Yer friendly neighborhood Hagrid, rignt ‘ere.” The giant who appeared to call himself “Hagrid” plopped down a few days old cake. “Happy birthday, Harry.”

Chapter two: My Name is Dragon
(Lemme brush meh toof)