The Stereotypical Horse Movie

A/N:

Hello, people of the AA Wiki! It's Victory, back with another developed-in-her-mind story idea she'll likely never finish. But never fear! This time, it's gonna be humorous.

So you've heard of the stereotypical horse movie trope, right? Of course you have, now! Let's take that trope and run with it.

Follow the adventures of Katie Ann Jones as she dodges evil! As she races horsies! As Victory follows behind her, screaming that horses can do more than just gallop and she's gonna need to buy that horsey some horse shoes! Won't that be FUN?

So grab your illogicities and your galloping black horses with white stars on their foreheads, your "country" nicknames and your Southern guide screaming "We don't talk like that!" Pick up your cowboy boots and your whining "villain" girl who is always blonde and rich.

It's time for a horse movie, y'all!

Disclaimers
I do not own any stereotype of this story, nor do I want to own any. I do, however, (sadly) own the characters of Katie Ann, Old Man Wonkinson, Star/Dakota/Misty (those are the three most popular horse names and I can't chooooose ah), Dad Jones, and any other appearing character. However, the stereotypes are free to use.

In spite of the fact I claim I'm from the South, that is the only information about where I live I shall expose (for safety reasons). And who knows? Maybe I moved from the South. You don't know. (Illuminati music plays in the background as Victory makes a few odd arm movements and leaps away backwards)

All things mentioned in the book (ie. McDonald's, Spirit: Riding Free, etc.) are copyrighted by their owners, just like in Mosseh's book.

Calling Old Man Wonkinson old constantly isn't meant to offend anyone; rather, I am poking fun at the fact horse movies tend to have a retired riding instructor person whose age is never really specified, but he's always over fifty. Always.

Katie Ann's life choices are bad. I'm not gonna lie. Sarcasm is advised while reading.

So without further ado...

LET'S WRITE THIS TRAINWRECK!

Blurb
Katie Ann is your average twelve-year-old girl who lives in an unspecified Midwestern/Northern suburban state. Of course, in spite of the fact her parents have well-paying jobs and there is no logical reason to move, her life is turned upside-down after Mom and Dad get the bright idea to go live on a farm deep down in the country. Katie Ann just can't cope with their horrible life choices!

But apparently, there's some weird mindset for that, because she somehow manages to befriend a wild mustang that would likely seriously hurt her if this were real life! With the help of a retired farmhand guy whose age is never specified, a brand-new side character friend who only has one personality trait, and several background characters we'll never see again, Katie Ann must learn to ride--and embrace this new world head-on!

Prologue: Keep Running, Horsey, I'm Begging You
(Not my best work, but it'll do.)

The pounding of hooves against the ground rumbled like thunder throughout the prairie, in spite of the fact this is the prairie and echoes don't travel across it. Hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds of horses raced across the long, beckoning stretch of grass, their whinnies and neighs crying out like music against the wind's swiftly blowing song (which shouldn't have been possible). Mares and stallions alike ran as fast as their legs could carry them, some of them even rearing even though this is not a rearing situation.

At the herd's front, a large, foreboding black stallion let out a neigh like the wind itself, his long, graceful neck stretching out to the sky. Why he was screaming at the top of his lungs, I don't know, but it seemed to get everyone's attention. He started to move faster across the grassy plain, his wise brown eyes searching for something. A gasp riddled him, and he stopped in place ever so briefly, sOMEHOW managing to avoid being utterly trampled.

Which would be a shame.

At last, we see it: the horse's attention has been drawn by a car, moving quickly across the plains on a road that obviously shouldn't be there. In fact, why is there a plain in the American South? Hm. Anyway, the night-dark stallion rushes forth, his hooves stretching out in front of him in a way that shouldn't be possible, whinnying as the sleek, silver metal box draws closer and closer. His mane, the color of an abyss, blows in the wind and out of his eyes, showing a white, scalloped, beautiful star-shaped marking right in the middle of his forehead, even though that's not even genetically possible.

Closer and closer he runs, closer and closer to his destiny. Raising his huge head, he stares into the car's window, somehow able to make eye contact with...a human! A human girl's head shoots up as the hundred horses run faster and faster towards her innocent car, her expression hard to read as they move swiftly across the prairie, coming and coming and coming.

The girl's eyes widen, lighting up with glee as she presses her face to the window...only to see the stallion already pulling his herd back, even though mares lead the herd in real life, and neighing a goodbye, his sweet, sweet voice already being carried back by the flowing wind. The girl's face falls as he turns his not-possible-in-reality herd away, away, away...

The stallion gives a tiny horsey-smile as he pulls back. ''Something tells me this will affect me. Something deep down inside me pulls after them, even though I'm a genetically impossible wild horse who has an impossibly large, impossible herd to lead and CANNOT SPEAK ENGLISH.''

And though he himself can't feel it, his author knows of a horrid fact as an awful, no-good, sinking feeling in her chest, and she chokes out a sob of, "Another innocent character has succumbed to the tropes!"

She knows the truth.

He is a horse movie character.

Chapter One: Katie Ann Complains About Life
"Katie Ann! Katie Ann!"

The girl shoot straight up in her seat, nearly smacking herself on the head against the car's ceiling. She

eh I'll finish this later