Redemption

''Note: This poem was supposed to have a certain format, but I was way too lazy to copy it as it was on my phone. ''

I look in every nook and cranny

Searching for redemption.

In every corner of the dusty room

Trying to find redemption.

It could be here.

It could be there.

But how can I find it

When I made

Too many mistakes?

I’ve

Turned innocent smiles

Into contorted expressions

Of sadness

With hurtful words.

I’ve sneered

At who I thought

Were freaks

And laughed

At who I thought

Were weird.

I’ve shoved books

Out of hands

And made them pick

All of back up

While I watched

With a smirk.

I’ve gossiped about

False information

About others.

I’ve watched them

Get teased by

Their fellow classmates

And get shunned

By their own friends

Without one hint

Of remorse.

I didn’t like

What I did

But I did it.

I did it all.

I don’t know

How I can

Prove to them

That the person

That once put

Them down

Wasn’t me.

Was never me.

I did it all

To find myself

Some friends.

I did it

Out of my own

Misery.

I did it

Because

I was desperate

For the approval

Of others

Around me.

I keep looking

But it’s

Nowhere.

Not in the

Eyes of those

I’ve tormented.

Not in the

Hearts of those

Who hate me

For what I

Did.

If I can’t

Find it

Anywhere,

Then,

Maybe,

After all,

Redemption

Isn’t

Real.

But...

What if it is possible

To receive redemption?

Maybe it’s all piece by piece.

Turning frowns into grins

Will be the first thing I do.

I’ll smile at the freaks

I once grimaced at.

I’ll help pick up books

Instead of push them

Out of hands.

I’ll talk about the kindest

Instead of gossip about them.

Next year will be different.

I’ll do everything I can to help

And maybe, just maybe

I’ll be one step closer

To finding redemption.